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Emotional Intelligence – a few hints
I clearly remember one of my colleagues at school, a straight A student, brilliant guy from an academical point of view, the best student in the class. We were all convinced that no matter what, he would succeed in life. This was in the 1980s.
Maybe ten years after graduation, I casually met him on the busy streets of this large city and I was so sad to learn that he was really struggling financially and emotionally speaking. He was not doing well and most importantly, he was not happy.
At that time, I thought … wow, who would guess that a person that is so smart, so well-informed and having such high grades at school would face this kind of situation? Back then, we were used to the intelligence quotient (IQ) as the best indicator of a person’s potential success.
A few years later by the mid-1990s, I heard for the first time about the concept of emotional intelligence and was wondering if that was the ‘missing ingredient’ of my colleague. By the way, the acronym EQ is sometimes used to refer to this concept, possibly in a way to differentiate it from the IQ.
According to the magazine Psychology Today, emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating our own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.
So, it’s not … location, location, location as when we are choosing a property, but instead … emotions, emotions, emotions. The way we handle our emotions and how we help people handle theirs play a big role in success and happiness. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results. Remember: we can’t choose the problems that we will face in life, but we can choose how we deal with them.
Something very interesting about the EQ is that it is something we can develop. Neurologists say that the brain has a property known as plasticity, which is its ability to chance. While one is kind of stuck with the IQ he/she was born with, due to its inherited component, it’s not the same with the EQ. It is in fact highly malleable. Our brain grows new connections as we learn new skills. Using strategies to increase our emotional intelligence allows billions of brain cells to create a physical connection between the rational and the emotional centers of our brain, pretty much like a tree, so they can reach out to the other cells. This growth ensures it is easier to kick this new skill into action in the future. Once we train our brain by repeatedly using these new emotional intelligence strategies, emotionally intelligent behaviors become habits. Sounds clever, right? And it is.
Emotional intelligence is not about being nice. It is about managing our emotions to achieve the best possible outcomes. Sometimes this means showing people that we are upset or frustrated. Constantly disguising our emotions with happiness and positivity is not genuine nor productive. Emotionally intelligent people employ negative and positive emotions intentionally in the appropriate situations and they take responsibility for their emotions.
I once heard that when you point one finger at somebody, blaming that person for your lack of success, your three other fingers are actually pointing at the real responsible, which is you. That said, it seems success in life is the combination of several components such as the IQ and of course the EQ, among many others. But, there is something else that is quite important as well, which is the need to work hard, or should I say, to work smart and hard. Get all the tools that you have, develop the ones that you can, create new ones if necessary, and put them all to good use. Both in your professional life and in your personal life as well. That looks like a good recipe to succeed in life. Roll up your sleeves and go for it.
There are plenty of publications and very interesting reading material that is available on the Internet. For additional information, please check:
This article is for general, indicative purpose only and should not be considered investment advice. Florida Connexion is not liable for any financial loss, damage, expense or costs arising from your investment decisions based on this article.
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